Stepping Into Self
“IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND TODAY,
YOU HAVE TO SEARCH YESTERDAY”.
-PEARL S. BUCK
Well…the moment is FINALLY here! Today is the day that my new blog, Spiritually Situated, launches to the public. No more stalling. No more excuses. No more Michelle-ing it away!! (Whatever does that really mean?)
For me, today is all about trusting my guides and the Universe. It is about openly acknowledging, embracing, and accepting my beautiful spiritual path. A simple, yet complicated path, filled with many dramatic peaks and deep valleys. Intense competing energies that have left me feeling exhilarated and exhausted, all at the same time.
In late August 2019, my spiritual journey surged into overdrive. Since then, I have slowly been adjusting to the reality of ‘the Universe’s time.’ Honestly, this approach to time has not been an easy adjustment for me to make. Especially when I am a self-proclaimed control freak! I 100% accept that description of myself, because I am extremely comfortable having a known plan in place and everything under my own control. I know that when I put in the time, planning, hard work, and effort, I will receive my desired results in a timely and predictable manner. That knowledge is based on fifty years of programming and reinforcement. It is where I am comfortable and how I have always lived my life. Until recently…when my spiritual awakening upended my comfort zone and introduced me to another way of looking at the Universe. As a result, I have come to understand that the Universe has an approach to timing that is all its own.
I’ve learned that the flow of the Universe isn’t going to wait for me to say “Okay, I’m finally ready. What do you want me to do?” Oh no!! It has nothing to do with my idea of timing, or my anxiety about not being prepared. When the Universe is ready for me to move forward, it’s going to kick my procrastinating ass out of the nest. The Universe is all knowing, and it will keep me aligned with my greatest and highest good. My protests be damned!! When the Universe decides it is ready…I guess I am ready also. It’s that knowing, that brings us right back to today.
As I shared above, I have been walking my spiritual path for the past 2 ½ years. However, in that time, I have only shared my awakening with some family members and a few friends. While I’m committed to, and excited about my spiritual journey, I haven’t opened it up to the scrutiny, judgement, or opinions of others. I do not live my life judging another person’s beliefs, but sadly that same courtesy is not always reciprocated.
Most of the people I’ve opened up to are genuinely happy for me. It hasn’t changed their opinion of me, and we move forward in our relationship unaffected. However, a few people have responded negatively, and their words have stung like a slap across the face! Why is it that those harsh opinions echo the loudest? Why is it that their judgements make me feel like I need to apologize or explain myself?
When I’m met with a negative comment (such as..“you know you are inviting in evil,” or….” maybe you can do your tricks at a party”, or… “don’t you believe in God?”), I lose my voice of conviction. Against my own internal objections, I start to back pedal on my own beliefs to make them feel comfortable again. Why do I do that? Why do I discount the importance of my journey? And why do I downplay how connected it is with my very being? When I do that, I feel horrible about myself!! In those moments, I know I’m doing a disservice not only to the Universe, but also to my mind, body, and soul.
Through guide work and self-reflection, I’ve discovered that living silent (and as a smaller version of myself) no longer serves my greatest or highest good. So, as of today, I’m no longer willing to compromise my authenticity. I’m no longer willing to give away my voice out of fear, or the discomfort of others.
Living my authentic truth will be done from a vantage point of respect and awareness. I understand and acknowledge that my beliefs won’t resonate with everyone and that is okay. While my spiritual beliefs are a core part of who I am, they aren’t all that I am. There are many aspects of me, and I know how to bring conversation to common ground and shared interests. I’ll never force my beliefs on another person, and I will not feel slighted that we have a different approach to life. I will respect others, and I’m only asking the same in return.
This blog is being written in hopes of helping you on your own spiritual journey. While the next few blogs will go back in time, they will then quickly (and naturally) flow into the here and now of my spiritual journey. Along the way, I will happily share some amazing experiences that will leave no room for doubt! However, and in fairness, I’ll then balance out those experiences, with moments that have me questioning my understanding of everything.
A spiritual awakening is a truly fascinating journey. A journey that takes time, commitment, understanding and patience. You can flow with it knowing that the support is always there! In this very moment, I feel the timing, nudge and the push from the Universe. I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. It is that knowing that is allowing me to take this leap in faith, love, and blind trust. This is where the Universe wants me to be, and I’m accepting the assignment.